One Task Accomplished… 10 Million To Go!

Happy Dance!

I’ve finally paid off all my credit card bills! Yaay! A very Merry Christmas to me!

....

Tomorrow, I’m going to throw away my old Iphone. I’m actually not really getting rid of it, but I will be getting a new phone and a new plan that will be lower than the one I have now.

It’s all to save some extra money. I’ll be doing nothing but saving, saving, saving from now on. I’ve got no other choice, but I still need to have a phone with me at all times, just in case. Next month coming up, I’ll be looking for another job. Deciding on a lot of things right now. Had a serious talk with my mother and she sees how frustrated I am at work. Nothing is working right for me!

StressI told her I can’t focus on multiple tasks at the same time: it’s either one or the other. I can’t work full-time at a dead end job and edit my novel. I can’t work full-time and make a film. Somewhere along the way, something is going to suffer. The quality of my work will suffer due to stress and everything will go to hell in a hand basket.

She knows I’m a perfectionist. She knows I won’t post anything online, unless it’s perfect. Even seeing the old book trailer for NR is hard for me sometimes, because I know I can do so much better than that. I had done it in a hurry, since I was mad about something––can’t remember what it was, but I made it in like a few hours. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t do everything on my own!

Directing and writing I can handle, even editing I can do. However, I can’t act to save my own life and I don’t ever want to be in front of a camera. I can’t do everything by myself! One of these days, I’m going to have to hire people to help me––a crew is what I need. My mother believes I can do anything I put my mind to; however, times are hard and I need to be wiser with my money. One thing remains true, I can’t do multiple things at once. I’m not multitasked! I never will be. Enough!

If I want the quality of my work to stay the same, I need to sacrifice something. The only way I’m ever going to finish my novel (s) is if I actually quit my job and focus on them. That’s how I did it for the first novel. I wasn’t working and spent months trying to find an editor and an artist to work with. After all that, I spent at least a month or so, editing the damn thing myself. I woke up every single day at 8 a.m. in Burbank, California (6 a.m. in Eastern Time) and re-read and revised until 10 or 11 p.m. until it was just right.

Even after that crazy month of repeat and rinse cycle… I still found mistakes once I edited it and got the second book proof. The proof that I decided to publish. I was lucky enough to get a third chance to fix whatever mistakes I had––also, Amazon had messed up my cover and that took about a whole week to get that under control. Not to mention, Amazon had my entire book for anyone to read (despite the disclaimer for Mature), so anyone could’ve read my entire book from front to back, without buying it or paying me a dime. I had to call them to tell them to stop that. Now, if I was working a full-time job, do you really think I’d have the time to do that running around? By the time I finished working a 8-10 hour shift, I’d be too exhausted to even call Amazon.

Too exhausted to do diddly-squat. I couldn’t imagine having children of my own: writing a book, working, making dinner, and then taking care of their needs before mine. I’m sure a lot of writers or authors do that––but I’d just drive myself insane. Kudos to those who can raise children and multitask––I’m sure your work doesn’t suffer one bit, does it? You did have to sacrifice something though? Oh right, your needs as well. Unless, you’re rich or have a husband to support you through and through, then you’re probably all right. To the single mothers out there, please don’t give up on your dreams!

ExhaustedA lot of you are probably wondering why I don’t manage my time more wisely. Well, actually I do manage my time… except my schedule fluctuates, so no. I cannot manage my time when my schedule is always changing. I can’t dedicate one hour of editing per day. I can’t dedicate one hour of writing. My mind doesn’t work like that. One hour turns into two, then three, then six hours go by like that. So, there you go. Time management does not work on a perfectionist. Never. :| I’ve wasted two hours alone on just writing this post, editing it, spell checking it, saving it, and then perfecting it. And then, I added some more…

I won’t be buying any more comic books for myself––I think I’ve done enough damage for a year. Won’t be wasting my time and my money on junk, only on the things I seriously need to buy, to survive. Food, water, you name it!  I finally have power in my room again. It’s a long story… the power in my room wasn’t working for at least a week, due to a bad outlet. It’s been replaced, so I have light and heat restored.

Sigh...I probably won’t be back to WordPress until February… or until I actually have some good news to report. Or I may return when I finish my trilogy and volume 4 of NR. Or maybe when they’re close to the publishing stages. Then, that’s when I might have something important to say. Haven’t decided if I’ll hang around DA that much. I do get distracted a lot these days and with so much going around, I’ve got my work cut out for me.

I wish things were simpler, but that’s not how life is. My mother says I could take a break off work to catch up on some things, like the writing and what not… and yet with money being so tight these days, I can’t really afford it. At least when I get out of my old cellphone plan, it’ll help a bit with the money. What else could I sacrifice? I still have to pay off my insurance for my car, my healthcare bill, and then there’s the dental every month. That’s pretty much all I’ve got at the moment.

A bit dizzy

There’s so many decisions swirling around in my mind that it’s actually giving me a headache. I’m trying to outweigh the pros and the cons. Should I stay with my job or should I go searching for another?

THE PROS & CONS OF STAYING AT A DEAD END JOB:

THE CONS:

  1. The pay sucks greatly and it’s not enough to keep me afloat for very long. I’d have to work at two jobs to afford anything…
  2. I feel like my talents are being wasted. Sweeping up floors isn’t the highlight of my day.
  3. It’s very stressful at times. A lot of pressure to be 100% accurate all the time.
  4. No chance of ever moving up in the company. NOT A CHANCE!
  5. Even if I do move to another department, there’s no guarantee that it will be a full-time position.
  6. My schedule fluctuates like the wind.
  7. I’m given no extra training to move forward. I’m not challenged enough.
  8. Too much rivaling and drama.
  9. Too much gossiping.
  10. Too much favoritism.
  11. Have to ask permission for everything: restroom, breaks, change, and so on.

THE PROS:

  1. I learn humility.
  2. I learn to be patient. Let’s just say, I was never a patient person to begin with.
  3. I learn how to interact with people from all different types of backgrounds.
  4. I learn how to make new friends and keep some of the old ones.
  5. I learn how to pretty much tolerant almost anything.
  6. And sometimes, I learn how to have fun.

Work!Besides that, I can’t think of anything else.

My Major Tasks Include:

  1. Saving up for the future!
  2. Still have to finish my trilogy.
  3. Still have to finish the 4th book as well. :(
  4. Still have to look for an editor and then decide if I’m going to hire them. Or not…
  5. Still have to look for another job with a higher paycheck and better benefits.
  6. Still have to make a contract for the artist I plan on hiring.
  7. Still have to decide what kind of graphic novel I’m going to work on.
  8. Still have to edit my novels.
  9. Still have to decide when to publish my novels after I finish them. :|

Oh! Did I mention, I have to make a list of what I need to make my film projects?

Depressed

STUFF TO MAKE AN INDEPENDENT FILM:

  1. I need money to fund the project and trailers.
  2. I need another camera. Probably thinking of getting a GoPro soon.
  3. Haven’t even bought my editing software. Still researching the damn thing.
  4. Seriously need to find me some actors. Don’t know where I’m going to find them (either online or in real life) or how they’re getting paid for that matter… but I need to find actors who look the part as well as act the part.
  5. Need a location and probably a location scout.
  6. Need a film permit.
  7. Need a crew.
  8. Need props.

I'm dead

Someone please wake me up when it’s all over… or when I’m good and dead.

Almost Finished Re-reading!

Work!

I’m almost done re-reading this novel. Total page count is 356, just like the original first book. I’m on Chapter 27. Still haven’t figured out if I’ll keep it the same price range $9.99 or if I’ll lower the price to $8.99. With all the work I’ve put in I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore.

Shocking

The sequel has 40 Chapters by the way… and I’m so eager to finish, so I can call in quits.

Stress

I’ve been at work pretty much all day and I’m just restless. Tomorrow and Monday are my days off and I just want to sleep. Almost missed paying a bill this week, due to such a hectic schedule. It’s just been a crazy nightmare so far. Not to mention, lots of drama and gossiping at work.

There’s just rumors about me everywhere, but I’m too exhausted to care. I’m going to complete the remaining chapters and then I’m going to decide if I should let my sister read this sequel.

In addition, I’ve completed the final book cover as well, including the most important part––the back of the book, which has the story blurb. I just hope it’s interesting enough to hook people into reading it. I didn’t want to give away too much, so I’m praying it works. However, I didn’t want to be too vague and nobody have a clue as to what I was talking about.

Here’s the new summary for Volume 2:

IMAGINE EVERY NIGHT YOU WISH NEVER TO FALL ASLEEP… For once you close your eyes the unthinkable horrors plague your mind, your sanity.

For Zander Russell, Cougar High school is hell. Nothing is going right. Considered an outcast to society, he has no friends just enemies. Until… he meets a man dressed in black, named Rue Chang.

Rue has it all: wealth, happiness, and good looks.  

Zander knows nothing about Rue or his true intentions. Who is he? What does he want? Where does he come from? And why does he keep showing up?

Rue knows everything about Zander’s life, including his family and all his secrets. He claims he can give the boy a better life. Zander is now faced with two choices: trust a stranger he barely even knows or live with his rare condition forever.

Is this too good to be true? And what are the consequences if Zander accepts the terms?

A bit dizzy

It sounds a lot better than the old one. So, I might stick to it or I might tweak it a little before I publish it. Still looking for an editor though. That’ll be interesting, once I get the feedback from my sister first. It’ll be greeat!

Then, I’m going to go ahead with the trilogy and start revising that little gem as well. I think the hardest part will be organizing everything in order. It’s kind of funny, because I don’t know where to start. But it’ll be interesting. I’ve written some extra chapters for the trilogy and the other books as well. We’ll see how it goes. Right now, I need to get some rest. Goodnight everyone!

I'm dead

Character Flaws: More Tragic Than My Main Character?

Work!

I’m so close to finishing this sequel, folks.  I really am!

Stress

Last night…well, this morning, I stayed up late and completed Act 2. Mostly organizing and editing each chapter for plot inconsistencies. Everything is linear…somewhat. We get a few chapters of the past as well, but there’s enough of a fluid transition to ease right back into the present. Yesterday, I did reach Act 3, but I didn’t want to stop. Some of my friends were telling me I needed to go to bed. :P I didn’t listen.

Anyway, I did get some sleep finally. But I’m on Chapter 30 or 31, depending on how it goes. I’ve been on a roll for quite some time, which is why I’m afraid to get started on it right now, since I’ll be going to work soon. I only have a few more edits and rewrites to do, and that’s it. I AM DONE! Regardless of how this one ends, I’ll be moving on with the trilogy and continuing on (or pretending) that I didn’t have a big section break in between.

BrokenheartedOne character that I’m working really hard on, is very three dimensional… is just… I can’t describe it. Just groundbreaking. In three words: heartbreaking, absorbing, and frightening all at the same time. I’m not bragging. I’m trying so hard not to give any details about this one and ruin it for you. I think I really outdid myself with this one. This character I’ve created is just so fascinating that every time I talk about them, I want to find out more about what happens.

Yes, my main character is interesting to… but for once in the story, he’s off to the side. But not in a bad way, in fact, the story still keeps on moving forward. This character will not only be as engaging as the others, but more compelling and sympathetic. The issues they represent or are going through will be a tough one for some people to read. A lot of the plot will be about what I’ve been seeing on the news lately.

Once I finish this sequel, I’ll be putting it away for a month or so….maybe. I kinda want to spend my time editing it next month, and hire an editor anyway. I don’t know if I’ll be competing in NaNo this year. I’ve got two novels I want to finally revise (complete) finish, end, put to rest, get it over with…you get the idea. This month and next. The sequel and the trilogy will be absolutely––definitely completed! There is no going back now. This is it.

ShockingGet ready everyone. It’s going to be truly shocking!

Day 4 of Vac: Snail Progress…

Let me just think...I seem to be stuck on a few things for my sequel…

...and it happens to deal with one of the characters.

Ouch!With all the research I’m doing lately, something doesn’t fit right in this jigsaw puzzle I’m working on. This is going to be a can of worms as soon as I bring this character out into the light. Hope I can manage, especially on my vacation. I’m supposed to be taking it easy, I guess.

So many questions, so little time. Just praying that I can get this book done on time. One thing’s for sure though, once I get all my credit card bills paid off, I’m going to be hiring a few editors and some artists. I want to first finish everything before I do anything else though.

Report's gone..A bit of bad news

Amazon’s kindle lending library program (say that 3 times fast!) hasn’t been working out so far for me. Nothing’s happening and everyday I wait and wait. I’ll keep checking for a couple more days, either before or after, I announce the special ebook sale coming up soon.

I’ll try to monitor it as best as I can. I mostly look at my sales once a week or so, but I may do that once a month instead. I’m just hoping it works. If nothing changes, once the three months are up, I will not bother continuing with it. Maybe when I publish my sequel… I’ll try again, perhaps?

More Chapters. It Just Keeps Getting Longer & Longer!

Shock!

I should be sleeping, not staying up and writing till the break of dawn. But I can’t help it!

A bit dizzy

There’s just so much I have to finish. I wrote ten pages this morning and that’s just the beginning. I have at least 17 missing spots for these scenes/chapters, not to mention, I have so many floating chapters that need to be shortened, extended, taken out, arranged, and re-arranged for the final setup draft, which is still a rough copy.

Eventually, I’ll have to put these additional chapters in the trilogy and continue where I left off. The page count is now 390. Luckily, I know what needs to be added. But not what needs to be taken out. I’ve written little notes to myself while I was reading the sequel. There are certain plot points that don’t make sense or fit in the context of particular situations.

There are too many flashbacks in this one. I noticed a pattern here…some jumping back and forth from one character to the next. I have other characters that need a lot of attention. So far, I can positively say… it’s looking good, since I know what needs to be added, in order for the story to make sense in a linear structure.

What’s not good is the length…and some other things, I won’t get into at the moment. ^^; So once again, I’ll have to decide how I’m going to do this. I probably need to keep it as simple as possible. I feel like I’m rushing some scenes and I really hate that. I’m going back and adding as much detail as possible, without going overboard with it. I’m trying so hard to show emotions, but I feel like I’m just repeating myself. How many times can I describe sadness or anger? I’ve highlighted phrases I love to say way too many times! Even I say them on my blog––it’s getting annoying for me to see and read them. I’ll be cutting back on my adjectives and making sure I don’t sound like a broken record. Easier said than done, right?

I hope I’m not becoming like Stephen King, describing everything, even blades of grass. :( I just need to focus on what’s important: location, setting, characters, and emotions. I do try to describe people’s apparel, but it’s gotten to the point when I describe a person once, I don’t feel like talking about their clothes again… unless it’s like a special dress for an event or important occasion or something. I’ll be avoiding the whole “what is she wearing?” trend. Is it stylish?

Just going to stick to sight, smell, taste, sound, and touch. Whatever characters were introduced in the first novel… I will not be re-introducing them over and over, in really long paragraphs, about how they look and what they wear. I’m cutting right to the chase and hitting it off with dialogue, action, and story. I don’t really care if readers (who didn’t read the first book) don’t know what these characters look like exactly. I’d prefer it if people just use their imagination.

Thinking About KDP Select. Should I Try It or Avoid It At All Costs?

Hmm...let's see nowI was just reading Amazon’s KDP terms today and noticed something I didn’t notice before.

ContemplatingFor the longest time, I have opted not to place my ebook into KDP Select… or never considered Kindle Unlimited, due to a program in place that lets people borrow books through a library lending system. They’re one in the same, except one is for authors while the other is for book lovers.

I’ve read lots of blogs about the pros and cons of KDP and UK. Most warning about the dangers of Amazon, abusing their indie authors by exploiting their weaknesses… by some PR move (or stunt) of getting more readers to read their undiscovered gems. To help indie authors find their own niche in the world––I’m saying that term loosely. I’ve realized now that I can still sell my book through other outlets as long as its the physical copy itself; however, it can’t be the digital format.

So many fears of the unknown. As a nobody author, who has nothing to really gain or lose by choosing the KDP… I’m going to try the KDP Select for 90 days (or a month) and see what happens. I know I won’t get much, but it’s just a chance I’m going to have to take. Don’t know what the results will be, whether it’ll be good or bad. I’ll keep you updated about how I’m doing.

 

Still Waiting…

Waiting Here...

So, I’m still waiting for someone to call me for my mac repairs…

Sweatdrop...

It’s been nearly five days and there seems to be a delay in the process. All I can do now is just hold on.

All the world's a stageI’m officially broke. This week money has been going out like water. I’ve had to pay to get the damaged hard drive…to get it fixed and a new external hard drive and a upgrade. Had to pay for a new pair of glasses, since they cracked yesterday.

LALALALALA!!!!!

The only good buy I made was a tablet. Finally! It’s a dream come true. Been using it for two days. I’m loving it so far.

But then, I look at the price tag…

OMG!

 

I’ll be dead somewhere… I'm dead

Too Much Doubt. Too Many Worries. Too Much To Think About.

Shocked!I found out some of my links are not working properly, so I’ve had to go back and make a few adjustments.

Sweatdrop...The link to Erebus Horror and my book interview have been fixed. I don’t know why they weren’t going directly to the site, but it’s done now.

...In other news, work has been––YEAH, let’s not talk about it! I’ve been stressed out about a lot of things lately and I cannot indulge on why. It’s just a very very long story. An epic story that I don’t want to get into right now. It will probably bore you to heck anyway.

Progress on my sequel seems to have come to a complete standstill. I love the first and second parts of NR, even the third segment is great. However, the fourth and fifth sections of my book have become a little difficult for me. I don’t know why, but they have. I did a drawing last couple of weeks ago and every time I come to that particular chapter, that creepy image is right in my face. Staring at me! It’s kinda scary. I never thought I’d outdo myself with that one.

I’m not a great artist though. I try and all, and yet I can only do so much. I was just experimenting with brushes and textures in Photoshop and thought I’d make something different for a change. If you ever saw this picture, you’d flip. I’m usually not a fan of such depictions or morbid creatures, but I seriously must have been having a field day ( a brainstorm).

Never have I made such a disturbing drawing before. I will not show it here, because I seriously don’t want to give anyone nightmares tonight. I love NR to death! But it pains me to continue working on such a dark story. All the world's a stageIt really does take a lot out of me. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So, it is with a heavy heart that I will have to take a break from NR for a bit longer, until I can get my Writing Mojo back. Mentally, I’ve been in a state of catatonic shock. Going day to day like routine as though I’m not here––it’s like I’m practically invisible sometimes.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I’m just lonely? Maybe I’m sad or something? I don’t know! I don’t know why it’s taking me so long. Some part of me wants to get this over with. I hate to complain. Don’t want to sound like some whining brat either! Let’s get this straight––I’m not complaining! There’s so many things in life that I’m grateful for. I’m truly blessed!

Anyhoo, I have a feeling I may not be able to keep up with this blog. Sorry to sound so depressed, folks! Things are just so-so for me. I’ve always said, “I live to write and write to live.” However, I’ve got nothing to really live for. Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. Except maybe family and the few friends I have. I don’t have a life people! :|

Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers. It could always get worse, couldn’t it?  Right?

Report's gone..*Sighs*

Here’s a list of Some of The Things In This Sequel That Aren’t Jiving With Me:

  1. Conflicted Personalities. Many of the characters’ arc has changed over the course of the novel. The characters that were once sympathetic are no longer emphasized as much. This is a huge NO! NO! for me. You see characters in another perspective, including all their horrible flaws.
  2. The Timeline jumps around way too often. I think I’ve said this before, but I hate the timeline. In the beginning it’s not that bad, however, it’s getting to the point that leaving dates out makes it even worse. Having dates is confusing enough, but not having any timelines will leave everyone in the dark. They’ll be asking about who, how, where, and WHEN this all took place.
  3. New characters are a pain in my butt! I like them all, but not enough to give them a book of their own. A friend of mine recommended that I should just write more sequels, starting off with a new character. It sounded like a wonderful idea at the time… but the more I thought about it, the less inclined I was to do it. One main character is enough! Having multiple main characters is way too much. I’m not competing to be the next George R.R. Martin. I really am not!
  4. The Writing Flow is up and down. In the first novel, I had a distinctive voice and style. Now, it seems with so many voices in my head, I’ve been struggling to keep the flow together. Once I get a character down, I can do wonders, and yet I don’t want to have characters repeating the same thing or actions as another character. Repetition is another factor. I hate the feeling as if I’m repeating the same words, scenery, and events over and over again in my head.
  5. Formatting the book’s interior has been nothing but a nightmare to me. Due to new characters’ input (including voices) I can’t seem to decide how the interior should look exactly. I’m slowly getting there…but for some reason the format is bothering my eyes to the point that I’m having trouble reading some parts. It could be my eyes or just plain fatigue. One time, it took me a whole day to get the correct format down for NR just so Createspace could finally load it in book form and preview it to me. What a waste! I should’ve spent that time writing, but the format had to be done for me to continue.
  6. Last one! Continuity.  I’ve got most of this correct, so far! I hope! Except certain scenes that go back into the past seem to be lacking a bit of continuity or transition from one event to another or one place to another. I’ll eventually figure it out, I think?

black circles under my eyes...Many, many things to take into consideration with this sequel. Even though I’ve been going to the gym and getting some exercise, I can’t help but feel as something is wrong with this book. Or is there something wrong with me?  I don’t know…

Hopefully, my next post will be less depressing and more hopeful and engaging.