Starting over takes courage: Going back to the writing board is not easy!

I’ll try to keep this post short, but I doubt it.  While I’m waiting here for my freelance editor to report back to me, I’ll be working on finishing my trilogy.  It’s near completion, but there’s a few gaps that I need to fill in.  So, I’ll be spending this week and next trying to do some kind of writing.  I haven’t written anything in nearly a month now.  I know, that’s bad… on the other side of the coin, I think I needed to think some things through.

A weight has been lifted off my shoulders at long last and I’m feeling a whole lot better now.  I’m actually feeling motivated for once.  After I publish my first novel, I will be putting down a few of my chapters… or maybe I’ll revise them along the way, according to how I feel about the matter.  I haven’t completely decided if having the rough drafts out in cyberspace is such a good or bad thing as of yet.  So far, these chapters have received such positive reviews and constructive feedback that I could hardly imagine my life without them.  I sometimes wonder what would happen if I hadn’t had the courage to do what I did.  I know I have a habit of putting chapters up and then taking them down.  Going forward with something, only to go backwards is what I’ve been doing all my life. It’s not easy for me.

However, not putting any of my chapters out there for anyone to read or see would probably not get me the exposure I need.  I would still be living in a bubble, in my apartment writing away forever in a lonely existence.  Grant it, I still need to get out more.  I’m still looking for a job though, but I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll find one soon.  I don’t know what I’ll be doing after publishing.  Maybe I’ll go on another vacation or continue on with revising the sequel and trilogy.  I already have the two book covers completed and they look fabulous.  Today, I’m trying to promote my story to as many sites as possible, without overloading my brain cells to the point of a nuclear explosion.  Hopefully, I can keep track of them all.

I’m only visiting three major sites, which have the most chapters of my story posted.  Deviantart, authonomy, and textnovel.  At first, authonomy wasn’t too bad.  I had received some great reviews and book backings to publish… until I accidentally deleted my profile.  I know, I know.  How the hell did that happen?  It was a huge mess!  It was all because I simply pressed the wrong button.  These buttons are so tiny by the way, you have to squint to read them. This is no joke.  I have horrible eyesight.  I don’t know what happened.  One moment I was updating my profile and the next it was gone.  Usually, sites like these have safety measures against such incidents.

Most sites give you two warnings.  [Are you sure you want to delete your profile?  Yes or No?]  If you delete your profile, there’s a notice (or warning) that will ask you again.  Well, I wasn’t given any warnings whatsoever, and automatically I lost everything in sight.  All my fans, backings, and comments were gone in one click.  It took only a second.  I desperately went around the forums asking the mods for help, but no one knew how to get it back.  Many hours later (probably at 1 am), I eventually figured out how to get my profile.  But I was so heartbroken.  All my hard work went down the drain that I decided to leave authonomy for good.  I’ve never been so angry at myself until that day.  If I delete an account or delete a post, I usually mean it, but this wasn’t the case.  Apparently, I have a habit of deleting things.  You can blame it on my clumsiness, my poor eyesight, or possibly ignorance.

They say ignorance is bliss by the way.  Anyway, back to the point.  It wasn’t until many months later, a loyal reader had stalked me down and followed me to DA.  She asked me if I was going to post more of my story, for she was highly interested in what was going to happen next.  Not only did this shock me, for I’ve always hated my chapters and my story for some time, but I was so overwhelmed with joy.  You stalked me to read more of my story?  Why?

Let’s just say I fainted right then and there.  That made my whole day!  Not only that, but I had another reader who was saddened that I left the site.  Before I went away, I had given him my email address to stay in contact with me.  Do you see how one or two people can make a difference in someone’s life?  It was just two fans, who gave me the support and courage to go back to a site I never wanted to see again.

I eventually decided to try it once again, despite losing everything I had.  I posted up that story.  Not only was my story deleted once, but TWICE!  You can blame that on the site’s lack of safety guards.  As an author, you may never know who your real fans are when difficult times hit you.  Sometimes as a writer, you may find yourself wandering in a fog, completely lost at sea.  There are people in this world who are your shining lighthouse.  Hold onto people who give you the light to find your way through.  If you can make one person enjoy reading your book, then you’ve done your job.  If you can make a reader care about you, then you’ve made a friend for life.  I will always remember these two readers, especially.  They are dear to my heart, including many others, who’ve stuck by my side no matter what.  I already have a special thank you page in my novel just for them.

Here’s an upbeat song you may enjoy! 😀  Happy writing!

FLO RIDA- Good Feeling

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never never never never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah
Oh oh, sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never never never never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah

Yes I can, doubt that I leave, I’m running with this plan
Pull me, grab me, crabs in the bucket can’t have me
I’ll be the president one day
January first, oh, you like that gossip
Like you the one drinking what God sip dot com
Now I gotta work with your tongue
How many rolling stones you want
Yeah I got a brand new spirit,
Speak it and it’s done
Woke up on the side of the bed like I won
Talk like a winner, my chest to that sun
G5 dealer, US to Taiwan
Now who can say that, I wanna play back
Mama knew I was a needle in a hay stack
A Bugatti boy, plus Maybach
I got a feeling it’s a wrap, ASAP

Oh, oh, sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never never never never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah
Oh oh, sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never never never never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah

The mountain top, walk on water
I got power, feel so royal
One second, I’ma strike oil
Diamond, platinum, no more for you
Got adrenaline, never giving in
Giving up’s not an option, gotta get it in
Witness I got the heart of 20 men
No fear, go to sleep in the lion’s den
That flow, that spark, that crown
You looking at the king of the jungle now
Stronger than ever can’t hold me down
A hundred miles gunnin’ from the pitcher’s mound
Straight game face, it’s game day
See me running through the crowd full of melee
No trick plays, I’m Bill Gates,
Take a genius to understand me

Oh, oh, sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never never never never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah
Oh oh, sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never never never never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah

Let’s get it, let’s get it
I know you got the good feelin’
Let’s get it, let’s get it
Gotta love the life that we livin’
Let’s get it, let’s get it
I know you got the good feelin’
Let’s get it, let’s get it
Gotta love the life that we livin’

Oh, oh, sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never never never never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah
Oh oh, sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah
I get a feeling that I never never never never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah

Oh oh, sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah

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