Big Problems: The Beginning or The End?

Well folks, I’ve received my revisions back from my editor today. I’ve already paid her, so that’s out of the way. Thank God! I’m printing out the pages right now as I type. In the beginning, I have to say that I was both excited, yet nervous to see what she would say. I’m also surprised I have a flock of green parrots outside my window, because this is the first time I’m seeing wild parrots in Burbank. It’s like a jungle out there. Literally! The noise is so loud and there’s like a hundred of them just chatting nonstop to each other. They sure are having a party. It’s just 5 p.m!

So, what was I saying before I was rudely interrupted? The revisions! Ah, yes. I briefly went over her revisions and I’m kinda feeling like this at the moment -> It’s just a feeling of pure dread with a dash of anger and a pinch of WHAT THE F!@#? Like “What have I done?” or created actually.

I don’t expect anyone to understand what I’m going through.  It’s like I don’t know anymore and after viewing the errors, the same mistakes are there. I see the repetitiveness (thought I had already fixed that), the plot gaps, the age discrepancies, and so on. Once again, I’m feeling pretty much like a total nutcase.

I guess that’s expected in a way, since she is my editor and she just ninja kicked my ass to the curb. Still recovering from the harsh blows to whatever ego I had left. I’m grateful and somewhat glad that I’m learning so much from her so fast, but I’m also wishing that I had noticed these errors from the gecko. Why, oh why did I not spot them before?!

Grant it, I haven’t looked at my manuscript in awhile, even though I had revised it last two weeks ago. Not only that, but I’m seeing the last half of my manuscript in a different light – AGAIN! Mostly red from all the bloody stains throughout this entire novel. Holy cow, Batman! She shot my manuscript down with a machine gun. It has bullet holes everywhere.

I’m getting tired just thinking about a major overhaul of editing. I’ll only fix what’s necessary, that’s it. Once again, the age of my character is a reoccurring problem. First of all, he was too young for this and now he’s too old for that. It’s really killing me. I’m wondering if I should’ve just left it alone in the first place and take the controversial risks involved? His age was 17 before, but I’ve changed it to 18. His age will remain an adult. So, let’s leave it at that. He was supposed to be nearing the age of adulthood in the next book, but that’s so not going to work out.

Anyway, there are a few facts that I had wrong that all need to be fixed. I do believe I can do this and it’s not a problem for me. Another issue I didn’t notice before is trademark. Whatever books I’ve read in my life and in history, I have never heard of trademarks being the issue in fiction stories. I know about films and how they need permission to use or show products. I know about the laws of showing trademarks when you’re filming, even if it’s a documentary. Apparently, I’ve never realized you can actually be sued by using a trademark in a story and that you need their permission as well. You cannot show them in a bad light for that would defame them.

This is new to me, but that problem will be corrected. Luckily for me, I didn’t riddle every sentence with trademarks. I can make up fake product names and fake restaurants, which is completely fine by me. Just a little bit shell shocked, that’s all. I need to seriously make sure I look up everything before I write anything, to make sure I’m not breaking any laws first, which will be the norm now. I do have a book about the Rights of Writers, which helps. But take nothing for granted. Do your research first! Publishing your book is not a freedom of expression, so let me repeat myself. Trademarks in a story are bad. Do not have them! Now you know and knowing is half the battle. Do not make the same mistakes I did.

This one is a major issue for me… cutting down the book even more. Seriously? I know this is my story and all, but really? I know there’s not a complete ending, however, I don’t think I can cut my story any more. I really don’t. I may be bitching at this moment, but I cannot and will not cut this story any more. So, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m at a loss right now.

You guys will not see me in a week or two, until I can finish all editing and re-revising. At this very moment, I don’t know if I feel like publishing this novel. There’s so much stuff I’m going through and it’s difficult to explain. I can only do so much…I’m probably just shooting myself in the foot right now, but I’m willing to do one more revision. This is the last time I go back to revise. I cannot go back to revise once I’ve spent so much time editing my life away. If it turns out that this self-publishing thing isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, I’ll truthfully be honest with you guys and tell you upfront if I’m not ready.  If I’m ready, then I’m prepared to take the good with the bad and possibly the ugly. If not, then maybe writing is my hobby. Maybe I wasn’t meant to publish for once it’s out there I can never take it back.

I’ll rest up today. Then tomorrow, I’ve got nothing but work to do. Wish me good luck, because I think I’m going to need it…

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4 thoughts on “Big Problems: The Beginning or The End?

  1. You’ll get there. Just have faith and keep pecking away at the keys. We love our novels one day and then hate them the next. :0) Just keep at it!

    • Thanks Tiffany. Yeah, I just think that’s usually my initial reaction at first whenever I get back the revisions. It’s something I have to get over and deal with it, you know. But you’re so right. One moment I love writing and then the next I hate it. It’s a complicated relationship. Love and hate. Thanks for visiting my blog though and I appreciate your kind words of advice. 😀

  2. Don’t lose heart.

    I absolutely despised my first novel!

    I originally loved the story and worked hard every day to get as many words wrote as possible. Once I finished I had a feeling of satisfaction – foolishly thinking that my work was complete… Then the editing aspect happened.

    To this day I can recite my book almost word for word – Nearly all 114,000 words… I have read it and re-read it so much! If it was in paperback form, the ink would have faded and the pages would be warped from the amount of times I’ve been over it.

    I’ve edited all I can for now, but I still haven’t gone that extra step towards self-publishing. The cover art is done, the formatting is ready, yet I’m still just reluctant to click that final button. Right now I am working on something completely different in the hope that when I look back on my original novel, it will be with a new set of eyes and maybe I will find an error that I have overlooked in the past.

    I want my work to be perfect, but at the same time there are so many books that I love which contain so many errors – whether they be problems with grammar/punctuation or problems with aspects of the storyline. I can’t help but think that if it was me writing, I would have done it differently. I’m ashamed to admit it, but even the odd novel by Stephen King has me considering an alternate sentence structure, or use of a different descriptive. Yet at the same time I still love the books!

    What I’m trying to say (and going the long way about it) is that even if your novel has a few minor errors, it still won’t stop many people enjoying your book. True, you might get the odd scathing review from a know-it-all critic (generally failed writers who take their frustration out on those who dared to have a dream) but I’m guessing your book isn’t aimed at them? It’s probably aimed at the people who immediately fall in love with your characters, those who start reading then can’t put it down, and those who are going to constantly hound you with pleading messages asking for a sequel or news about upcoming works.

    Take a few days breathing room to clear your head, but don’t give up on something you have worked so hard to achieve.

    • Wow, Richard! I figured I was the only one going through this, but now I know that all writers have their ups and downs at times. It’s just that I worked so hard and it’s difficult for me to just let it go sometimes. I’m glad that I’m learning so much, even though it hurts. I think everyone hates their first novel. I keep thinking about Stephen King and his book Carrie. He hated it so much that he actually threw it out in the trash. It was his wife who found it, read it, and told him to send it out to a publisher, which made his writing career such a success. I know that no matter what I do it won’t be 100% perfect, it never will. We’re not robots. Even the bestsellers, I’m sure the same authors who wrote them are cringing at certain parts that they probably wished they could’ve taken out, re-written, or edited over. Thank you for your words of advice. It really helped me and I’ll keep at it. I’ve taken a break for right now. I’ll just take it one day at a time. That’s all I can do, so I don’t overwork myself. Also, I hope that someday you’ll be able to look back on your novel and find your mistakes. Whatever you decide to do, I’m sure you’ll make the right decision. It’ll be nice to see you published as well. Good luck to you and all your projects hon. Take care and have a goodnight! 😀

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