Too Much Doubt. Too Many Worries. Too Much To Think About.

Shocked!I found out some of my links are not working properly, so I’ve had to go back and make a few adjustments.

Sweatdrop...The link to Erebus Horror and my book interview have been fixed. I don’t know why they weren’t going directly to the site, but it’s done now.

...In other news, work has been––YEAH, let’s not talk about it! I’ve been stressed out about a lot of things lately and I cannot indulge on why. It’s just a very very long story. An epic story that I don’t want to get into right now. It will probably bore you to heck anyway.

Progress on my sequel seems to have come to a complete standstill. I love the first and second parts of NR, even the third segment is great. However, the fourth and fifth sections of my book have become a little difficult for me. I don’t know why, but they have. I did a drawing last couple of weeks ago and every time I come to that particular chapter, that creepy image is right in my face. Staring at me! It’s kinda scary. I never thought I’d outdo myself with that one.

I’m not a great artist though. I try and all, and yet I can only do so much. I was just experimenting with brushes and textures in Photoshop and thought I’d make something different for a change. If you ever saw this picture, you’d flip. I’m usually not a fan of such depictions or morbid creatures, but I seriously must have been having a field day ( a brainstorm).

Never have I made such a disturbing drawing before. I will not show it here, because I seriously don’t want to give anyone nightmares tonight. I love NR to death! But it pains me to continue working on such a dark story. All the world's a stageIt really does take a lot out of me. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So, it is with a heavy heart that I will have to take a break from NR for a bit longer, until I can get my Writing Mojo back. Mentally, I’ve been in a state of catatonic shock. Going day to day like routine as though I’m not here––it’s like I’m practically invisible sometimes.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I’m just lonely? Maybe I’m sad or something? I don’t know! I don’t know why it’s taking me so long. Some part of me wants to get this over with. I hate to complain. Don’t want to sound like some whining brat either! Let’s get this straight––I’m not complaining! There’s so many things in life that I’m grateful for. I’m truly blessed!

Anyhoo, I have a feeling I may not be able to keep up with this blog. Sorry to sound so depressed, folks! Things are just so-so for me. I’ve always said, “I live to write and write to live.” However, I’ve got nothing to really live for. Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. Except maybe family and the few friends I have. I don’t have a life people! 😐

Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers. It could always get worse, couldn’t it?  Right?

Report's gone..*Sighs*

Here’s a list of Some of The Things In This Sequel That Aren’t Jiving With Me:

  1. Conflicted Personalities. Many of the characters’ arc has changed over the course of the novel. The characters that were once sympathetic are no longer emphasized as much. This is a huge NO! NO! for me. You see characters in another perspective, including all their horrible flaws.
  2. The Timeline jumps around way too often. I think I’ve said this before, but I hate the timeline. In the beginning it’s not that bad, however, it’s getting to the point that leaving dates out makes it even worse. Having dates is confusing enough, but not having any timelines will leave everyone in the dark. They’ll be asking about who, how, where, and WHEN this all took place.
  3. New characters are a pain in my butt! I like them all, but not enough to give them a book of their own. A friend of mine recommended that I should just write more sequels, starting off with a new character. It sounded like a wonderful idea at the time… but the more I thought about it, the less inclined I was to do it. One main character is enough! Having multiple main characters is way too much. I’m not competing to be the next George R.R. Martin. I really am not!
  4. The Writing Flow is up and down. In the first novel, I had a distinctive voice and style. Now, it seems with so many voices in my head, I’ve been struggling to keep the flow together. Once I get a character down, I can do wonders, and yet I don’t want to have characters repeating the same thing or actions as another character. Repetition is another factor. I hate the feeling as if I’m repeating the same words, scenery, and events over and over again in my head.
  5. Formatting the book’s interior has been nothing but a nightmare to me. Due to new characters’ input (including voices) I can’t seem to decide how the interior should look exactly. I’m slowly getting there…but for some reason the format is bothering my eyes to the point that I’m having trouble reading some parts. It could be my eyes or just plain fatigue. One time, it took me a whole day to get the correct format down for NR just so Createspace could finally load it in book form and preview it to me. What a waste! I should’ve spent that time writing, but the format had to be done for me to continue.
  6. Last one! Continuity.  I’ve got most of this correct, so far! I hope! Except certain scenes that go back into the past seem to be lacking a bit of continuity or transition from one event to another or one place to another. I’ll eventually figure it out, I think?

black circles under my eyes...Many, many things to take into consideration with this sequel. Even though I’ve been going to the gym and getting some exercise, I can’t help but feel as something is wrong with this book. Or is there something wrong with me?  I don’t know…

Hopefully, my next post will be less depressing and more hopeful and engaging.



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