I’m cleaning around the house, clearing up as much stuff as I can.
Preparing for the big day.
Cleaning out my mind, body, and soul of all negative thoughts. No more self-doubt. Challenging myself mentally, emotionally, and physically.
I going to start writing (or revising) and this time I’m not going to stop, until I drop. I’m setting a schedule for myself and I’ll be forcing myself to get up early, every morning at 5 a.m.
Right now, I’m organizing some things and putting them aside for later. One day I’ll look back at it all and laugh about the nonsense I had to go through. I have two large folders with tons of paperwork that I’ll never need or use again in my lifetime. It’s a shame really. I was actually looking forward in keeping them, since I love learning and studying new things. But it’s all over and done with. The past is in the past.
I didn’t really sleep much last night, since I had to get up this morning and complete some unfinished business. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all; however, it needed to be done. I’ll surely miss the people who made me laugh and smile. I’ll never forget them. Eventually, I did get some rest afterwards and slept well during the afternoon. Maybe a couple of hours.
I’m going to also get back in shape and take it easy for a few weeks. Starting all over again from scratch is probably the hardest thing ever, but it’s probably for the best. Due to my health I can’t afford to go through that craziness again. Before, when I first started, I thought that this was a dream come true. I quickly realized that it was just an illusion. Sometimes, life is funny that way.
When you think you’ve made it, something or someone knocks you down. Just getting yourself up off the ground and moving on can be the biggest step to take. I had to make a decision. Although, the pay was good and the hours were nice, in the end… it wasn’t worth the abuse. Being bullied everyday takes a toll on you after awhile, even those higher on the stepping ladder didn’t care. What was the point of me staying?
Why stay when the one in charge doesn’t want you there? All they see is a slave. Not an individual. Not a person. Just an object to be toyed with. The things I saw and heard were not acceptable, so I walked away. Some called me a coward. Others called me brave. I couldn’t handle that kind of behavior anymore. No matter how much they were paying me. No matter what benefits they gave me. It was not worth being treated that way. The stress and anxiety were all too great.
It’s best if I find my own way.