Rereading Nightmarish Reaction – Here Are My Thoughts On The 3rd Book…

The good news is… I’m on chapter 31 right now so I’m almost done reading NR 3.

The bad news…

Noooo!

I hate the book.

I’m not happy with what I’ve read so far.

Don’t get me wrong the first half is actually really good, but that middle part is driving me off the wall. It needs a complete overhaul.

Work!

Maybe I will change my mind after I do another million rewrites.

There’s a bunch of editing guidelines in my bedroom right now and I’m surrounded by How-to-Grammar, Structure, and Plot. However, some of the chapters have left me with a bitter taste in my mouth and I’m thinking I should just delete them and start all over again…

Smashing-computer-GIFI basically feel like I’m repeating the same stuff over and over again. Which is not a good sign whatsoever. The characters are still interesting and compelling; however, my dates and timelines are still a bit messy. I’ll be going back and fixing every last one of them. 

I may have to rearrange the chapters in another order and maybe add in a few new chapters as well, because it seems as if I’m rushing through some parts and I get this feeling that I should slow down. However, I don’t want to drag it for too long, because the book is already big enough. Something is bugging me a lot and I can’t pinpoint what. Editing and rewriting is the hardest thing ever.

Sweatdrop...

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Houston, We Have A Problem! The Book’s Too Long & The Price Too Much…

I’ve got just 6-7 Chapters left to finish editing, but I’ve now realized that the page count has gone way over the limit…

counting

It’s exactly 4 pages over!

OMG!

I have only two limited choices here.

Noooo!I have to pick wisely or I could be in some serious trouble. I could sell the book at a higher price tag… nearly $12.25 dollars or more just to meet Amazon’s crazy royalty deal, which is extremely low at .87 cents. That’s 2.26 dollars more than the last two books, without tax and shipping costs.

Or cut 92 pages of the third NR book, leaving it at a lower price tag of $9.99 but ending it at a place where all my readers will completely hate me for life… Since I haven’t finished the 4th book, it might still take me years to complete it. Some readers might want to know how it’ll all come to an end. It might be added pressure for me as well. Or I could lose readers and nobody cares at that point what happens to all the characters. It’s a huge risk regardless.

Which makes the 4th book and hopefully my last nearly 470 pages at a price tag of $12.30 dollars, because of Amazon.

Crying..

Either way, it’s not going to be pretty…

Longer book = higher price tag

Shorter book = lower price tag

It would be nice if I could have a big book at 500 pages, like Stephen King, and have it at a mass paperback book price of say $5 bucks. But that’s not happening anytime soon, unless I get picked up by a traditional publisher.

Depressed

Getting Back To Exercising, Reading, & Editing Again…

Sigh...I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mine wasn’t bad at all and I got a chance to spend time with the family. For awhile now, I haven’t updated whatsoever. I had taken three weeks off to focus on other things, like the graphic novel and what not.

However, I seriously need to get some things done. I’ll probably do some reading after this post and get back on track to a normal schedule. I still don’t know when I’ll finish the third book of NR. I remember reading nearly all the way through the book. I almost made it to the finish line. It was actually decent enough for me to continue, but I had to go back and revise a few other chapters.

It’s mostly because of clarity and continuity. Something wasn’t meshing right exactly and I’ll have to edit another ten million times before the book’s ready. This will be a quick post for today.

studyingI think I made it to Chapter 37, just reading it to myself in one sitting (in 1 and 1/2 days). There’s only 42 chapters by the way. But there were some things that concerned me greatly at first, which was the pacing and the timeline events.

I was keeping a track of everything I read in a small notebook, especially some of the grammar mistakes I had. I did go over the revisions, but I’ll need to recheck them again to make sure I didn’t miss anything.

I’m saving everything to one document this time, so there’s no multiple files anymore. This way once I upload it to Createspace, I won’t accidentally use the wrong file. Not to mention, I’ve gone back to exercising for an hour or two everyday now. The holidays always has too much good food, so I’m preparing myself for Christmas and watching what I eat. 🙂 I need to lose weight for the holidays. So wish me good luck!

Anyhoo, have a goodnight folks.

writing

It’s about time I get back to writing again.

Pacing Myself With The Revisions And Working On Backstories…

solazycantmove

I reached Chapter 27 and had to take a break. I may continue revising well throughout the night. But I have to go back and finish tweaking several major chapters. So far, rereading chapters 1-27 hasn’t been bad at all, except for some minor issues with backstory.

The backstories just need more work. I still feel like I’m rushing certain parts and I need to be extremely careful not to just skim through. I really do want to get them out of the way, but I don’t want it to become like a chore and suddenly get boring. If I do get bored, I may have to get rid of them completely.

I think certain chapters I’ll have no choice but to add something specific, in order to keep it interesting. I have to say that the dialogue is quite good. However, I’ve noticed I’m not the type of writer who likes to spend so much time on little details. I hate being bogged down with description after description. Other times, I feel like I’m telling way too much.

I hate repeating what a character is wearing over and over again… especially how they look, unless it’s absolutely necessary to the story. I care about the story, not what hairstyle a character has that particular day… Don’t get me wrong! I love writing descriptions when it comes to my favorite main characters. It’s just the minor characters I’m struggling to keep myself entertained with. I don’t want so much focus on them and slow down the entire plot to a snail crawl.

I like keeping a fast pace sometimes. It’s more interesting that way with all the twists and turns. Although, I may have to now and then seriously stop moving so quick to the point that it’s brain overload. Chapter 11 I had to split into two, because it was nearing 20 pages long. Now, some minor characters are more interesting than others. And then, we have the villains. Some villains are also more beloved than others.

I just have to take my time and make them seem as realistic as I can with flaws like everybody else. I think Ch 11 is about 5,000 words or so. Another thing, I’m trying to avoid is repetition, which is a horrible habit of mine. So far, I’ve been watching myself and cutting back on the redundancy. Don’t know how many times I’ve repeated myself in this one post right now.

Let’s see… I’ve got to go back to chapters 11, 12, 24, 25, 26, and 27. There are certain scenes that are kind of vague and I probably should give it another whirl at them. Gotta make them a little longer. It will depend on how I feel.

I have about 15 chapters left to edit and then I’ll go from there.

Picking Myself Up And Getting Back To Work… Still Loving Gab.ai By The Way!

Yep, you heard me!

All the world's a stage

My post yesterday was pretty depressing and I need to stop that.

TAKE THAT!

So, I’m changing it. Well not the post itself, but I will not let anything stop me from publishing that third book. In fact, I don’t really care what anyone thinks anymore and I should seriously stop caring. People will find offense in anything these days. Why bother argue with them? Why waste my time worrying about everything or what someone else says?

Nothing in life is free and you’ll never be perfect. Nobody’s perfect. At least I’m somewhat sane, which is a good thing. It could always be worse. I’m going to live life to the fullest, because that’s how it should be.

And who the fuck cares?

MUWHAHAHAHAA!

‘Cause I don’t!

It doesn’t matter how many books I sell or don’t sell, even though it would be nice to become a bestseller someday…it’s not the reason why I’m writing. Every writer wants to be a little rich and famous, don’t get me wrong. However, I’m not writing for the money. If you’re writing a book because of the riches, then you’ve got it all wrong. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.

I should be able to do what I want. Not everyone is going to like my stories, but I do have a few people out there, who do love reading them and I can’t let them down now. I’m sure some of them don’t mind waiting a few years. I have to admit, I’ve been lucky so far.

Cool ShadesThings happen for a reason, and this post probably doesn’t make much sense to you, but it will later on.

After I wrote that post, I decided to go back to the third novel and actually reread/edit it. I actually made it through editing, all the way to Chapter 21 and I’m still going. Can you believe that? Not to mention, I’m setting up the novels in Kindle and in CS. Kindle Direct Publishing has a new feature now.

They have it where you can publish the paperback novels. I haven’t tried it and I’m a little worried about how that’ll go exactly, especially since you cannot order paperback novels.

I think I’ll still stick to Createspace for now, despite some of the ups and downs. They’ve treated me pretty good and I don’t have any major complaints at all. At least that’s working for me and it’s not broken, so why fix it? I can order copies before the final send off, which is great.

Oh yeah, I forgot…

news

I was blocked from Twitter.

Good Job!

But that’s all right.

Anyway, I’m on Gab.ai and it’s so amazing. Love the people there! They’re helping me promote my book and everything. I’m on a booklist and I’ll soon be in a writer’s club. It’s fabulous.

Starry Eyed

Take care everyone!

Finished Revising Chapters 1-10

I’m actually surprised I made it past Chapter 1, because most times I wind up in an editing loop of no return.

Let me just think...

I did reread and edit Chapters 10-12 by the way, which means Act 1 is done.

I still have 3 more Acts to go…

But I keep going back to Ch. 10 for some reason.

whoa!

There’s a lot more dialogue here and I feel that I may be giving away too much of the plot. Then again, this series needs to come to an end soon by the time I get to the 4th book. So, I may not have a lot of choices. That last novel may be 600 pages after all.

I’m wondering if I’m doing too much of an info dump. However, I don’t want to spend too many pages on minor characters, because it would bore people to death and slow everything down. I do want to keep the pace going with interesting twists and turns. Also, I’m concerned if the plot has become too predictable over time. I dunno…this will be a little more challenging to say the least.

I’ll spend the rest of the morning mostly reading.

reading-time

Back To Editing Chapter 1 Again… Starting All Over.

I was reading George Orwell’s 1984 novel and it’s so dark and so very good.

thedoctorreads

I still haven’t finished it, but I really love the writing style and how well it flows.

I may save it for a rainy day whenever I get stuck somewhere…

Scratching my buttFor some reason, 1984 was enough to inspire me. To get back into the habit of writing again. I had a lot of issues with self-doubt and whether I could ever be good enough. I read parts of my sequel, Nightmarish Revelations, to see how bad my writing was… I’m shocked that I ended up liking certain chapters. 

No matter how hard I try, I’ll always find mistakes in my writing. However, I seriously need to stop thinking of the past and just move on already. I so badly want to finish NR and the series, but I’ve been in such a strange funk. Maybe it was writer’s block or I was feeling burnt out. Anyway, I actually went back and started re-editing the accursed thing a few days ago.

I redid the first chapter and made a couple of changes, trying to perfect it. It reads a lot better now. But I’ll probably spend a couple of days doing some revising. Technically, I was supposed to be out of town, but I have to wait for an important call first. We’ll see how it goes.

I may eventually post some of the chapters or the drawings Nicoy did for the third novel. Who knows?

Watching Godawful Horror Flicks: I’m Making A List and Checking It Twice!

studyingI’m making a Grammar Checklist for myself as I go through certain chapters of NR. Got a small notebook here for myself. As I’m reading, I’ll jot down what’s missing and what sentences seem unclear. This way I can keep a track of what I’ve found. Putting down the page number and paragraph helps me to find it later on. I’ll place the word that’s missing or what needs fixing. Even write down a few notes.

It’s nothing much…

Little Cowboy

The same channel I was watching the other day that had really bad vampire shows… now has nothing but godawful horror flicks. And these seem pretty recent too. I think they’re all sequels to some popular original movie, because I keep seeing movie 4 or movie 6. Is this what passes off as horror and suspense nowadays? I saw one of the films (#4 – big mistake!) and then I had to turn it off. It was that bad. So very stupid.

Yes, it’s gory and somewhat bloody pointless… but it’s things we’ve seen before. Something about a bunch of college kids, who look like they’re in their 30s or 40s, who are lost in a snow storm and seek shelter at an asylum. Was the director even trying here? None of it made any sense whatsoever.

Not only was I not even scared, this movie felt more like a comedy. A really cheesy one. Who gives these people money? ‘Cause I’d like to know. If I had that kind of money to direct a movie, I’d probably hire some better actors first. Ones that don’t look like porn stars. Then, have someone help me write a well thought out script –– you know, one that actually has a story (a beginning, middle, and end) and makes a lick of sense.

It’s kind of sad seeing a film, where no one is even trying to do something right, especially acting. Put some effort into it. Could they not find and hire someone talented enough, who might’ve actually cared about the job? Even the editing in this film was horrendous. Did no one say, during production… “Maybe we shouldn’t be making this film at all? This movie really sucks, guys…”

In fact, I just didn’t care for any of the characters and wished for all of them to be dead. Is that bad? I must be heartless, ’cause the only good scene was the end. Those rolling credits must’ve cost them a fortune to make! All these films suffer from the same thing: they have horrible acting, bad storylines, terrible special effects, and are filled to the brim with cliches.

LIST OF REALLY BAD & GODAWFUL HORROR CLICHES:

  • Hot chicks with big breasts. CHECK!
  • Death to those who have sex. CHECK!
  • All cops are unprepared and brainless. CHECK!
  • Protagonist thinks they got away, but didn’t. CHECK!
  • Inbred monsters, who are ugly beyond all reason. CHECK!

I’m pretty disappointed. I’ve seen Indie horror films that are better than this dreck. Oh well… C’est la vie! That’s life!

Back to my favorite and beloved show of all time!

How To Properly Vacuum A Cat…178920

Struggling On The 4th Novel of NR. Have I Made Any Progress Yet?

Nope.

...

None whatsoever…

Enough!

I’ve pretty much stepped away from both the third and fourth novel to reevaluate a few problems. Ever since Nicoy’s been sending me drawings for the graphic novel, I’ve been having nothing but difficulty getting back to NR. I have more ideas for writing FR and would feel better doing that instead.

My focus is now stuck on the comic, because I can’t keep going back and forth from one thing to the other. I’ve tried several times, believe me. I still have to wait though, no matter what. I want Nicoy to take her time on the drawings, so I told her to take a few days to rest, since she’s been doing a lot lately.

Anyway, I haven’t gone back to the third novel for a reread. Not even for editing. I just need to disconnect my brain from it, in order to understand it better. To have enough space for myself to think things through more clearly is better for me, before I make any more dramatic changes that might impact the entire story. It’s just a lot to go through right now. No pressure whatsoever…

I had thought about making a paperback copy of the third novel, but I fear it still needs work and another rewrite. Perfectionism is attempting to trap me inside an Editing Loop of No Return, where I’ll read one chapter for weeks at a time. Perfectionism will not let me move forward, because I always feel that I’m missing something important even if it’s so tiny no one sees it. Or I’m not doing enough to fix whatever’s nagging at my subconscious level.

Perfectionism remembers all the mistakes I made in the first and second book and tells me, you better not fuck this up. That’s why it takes me so long to get a freaking book published, because I’m never satisfied. I’m trying so hard to fight it back. 

Until I actually get fed up with perfectionism, the Editing Loops, the doubts, the fears, the thought of rejection… then that’s when I’ll finally make up my mind and move on with my life.

headslam

Usually, I have to beat the shit out of perfectionism, because I’m so used to being told that my stories are never good enough. That I’m never good enough. That I’ll never amount to anything. 

Perfectionism is the beast that will never leave me…