Will I Be Doing NaNoWrimo This Year?

No, I will not.

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There’s a lot of reasons why, but first let’s get to the real problem.

...Writer’s block would be one of them. I went through a period of time when I was writing nonstop for about a month or so. It was very brief, but I got a lot done. I was writing/editing the third novel of NR and then on top of that… working on the graphic novel as well. After I finished writing everything, including all those scripts for Flash Renegade, I haven’t really felt like doing much of anything. It’s a horrible excuse.

However, I can’t force myself to write. It doesn’t work that way…just can’t type my way out of this one. I wish I could do it, but then I’d write crap or maybe it’s already too late for that. I’m going through a serious burnout and I feel as if I may not write anymore on these blogs. Some writers write everyday and some don’t. We’re all so very different.

Another issue deals with publishing the third novel of NR. Someone close to me asked if I had finished the novel and I told her yes. She asked, “Will you be publishing it?” And I’m like, “I dunno…why should I? And who’s going to read it? Not you obviously.”

Then, she’s like, “Is it disgusting?”

I blinked. “You’ve already read parts of it…”

...

Is that all you can really say about it? And why is that the first thing you mention? If you didn’t like the first book and the sequel, then why do you want to know if I’m publishing the third novel? Why are you even asking me whether I’m writing it or not? Why do you even care?

The world is practically on fire. There’s more important issues going on right now, and I don’t even know why I’m bothering to write this anymore. It’s not helping anyone… So much horrible stuff going on and it’s pretty bad. It’s hard for me to focus on anything these days.

Mostly I’m just reporting or relaying information to other people from independent news sources. I think I should be a journalist to tell you the truth… because that’s all I’m doing is reading articles online and sending it out to others, because knowledge is power. Maybe one of these days, I’ll feel better and get back to writing.

Sweatdrop...

I dunno… life is a mess.

Deleting One Account: Bye Google Plus!

So long Google Plus! Goodbye forever!

Bye bye!

After how many hundreds upon hundreds of posts, you’ve done nothing for me really. I’ve decided to delete you.

Swift Fan Attack!

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t you but me…I actually don’t need you anymore. In fact, I never needed you at all. Not to mention, your features were confusing as hell. Half of my posts were always private and it took me ages to figure out why.

What’s the point of staying when nobody sees any of my posts? Why are my posts always hidden, even after making them public. Maybe it wasn’t me. Maybe it was you all along. My page was public to all, but you had to censor my links and my posts. Sure, I got a couple of page views. Anyway, it’s too late now…

By the way, I’ve switched over to Gab which is ten times better.

No censorship whatever!

Hero Time!

They’re setting up a place for writers and I’ll be joining them soon.

Adios Google Plus.

Should I Take A Shot? Printing Out The Third Book For NR…

I don’t drink whatsoever, but this picture was funny enough to use.

On CS, it would only take about what… maybe 24 hours or less to get the interior and outer cover approved for printing.

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After that, I could have it shipped to my house for delivery and I’d get it in about a week or two. 

Question MarkIt wouldn’t cost much, because I’d get it at a discounted price. Maybe six dollars or so. The only thing is I have to add the shipping and handling costs. If I’m lucky, I could get the book in a matter of days with UPS. It’s quite tempting to do just that, and then I could easily see for myself (on paper) what needed to be fixed. Typos and all.

I could take my time and go through it or leave it on my shelf for a couple of months, before I ever decide on publishing it. I would have to edit it again for mistakes and then pick a day that would be best for publishing. It sounds all so easy, doesn’t it? I’d maybe wait until after my graphic novel was published. Or would it be better if I did that before? 

It’ll be another chance to take, but for this one, I have really nothing to lose. It’s not like I’d lose my job or waste all my money… unless I have another mishap with the Copyright Office. No one is really rushing me to finish this book and I still have another fourth in the making. But if I do publish Nightmarish Reaction, I could at least show some of the new artwork Nicoy drew for me on this site and others. Updating a little would help me to keep it going for a while longer. 

So many decisions. To tell you the truth, I kind of just want to get this book out of the way. I’ll have to think about it some more. Printing out the paperback copy might be easier than I thought, and maybe it’ll keep my mind off other things. Possibly give me a reason or a motivation to finish it…

Hmm...let's see now

Hmm… it’s worth a shot.

It’s Been Awhile Since I’ve Updated For NR…

It’s been a long time, since I’ve written anything on this site. 

Blushing

It’s been like what? A month now?

Sweatdrop...

I was on hiatus for a little bit, but now I’m back…err…sort of. However, despite the fact that I love writing and blogging, I haven’t really figured out what I should write about these days. Should I talk about not so important things? Movies? TV? Should I talk about books instead? The ones I’ve read?

It’s kind of sad actually now that I think about it. I used to be able to blog daily on just about anything, but seeing as not a lot of people read nor comment on this site, then what’s the point? 

Crying..

I’m running out of ideas for what to talk about or even discuss.

I wish I could post more important topics, like the ones on Twitter. But that would defeat the whole Author’s Blog, now wouldn’t it? I have no idea what I’m going to do. There’s plenty of blogs here on WordPress that report the daily news and social issues going on in the world today. Maybe I should do some remodeling of the site and see where that leads me.

It would be nice if I could explain more about my experiences with the graphic novel, but there’s not much to really talk about. Everything has been going good lately. I’ve been trying to focus just on the graphic novel and update the newer site, but progress is kind of slow. I also don’t want to reveal so much about the project, since Nicoy and I aren’t even done yet.

What to do? What to do?

...

Is this the end of my blogging days?

I haven’t looked at the third novel of NR. Always feeling tired nowadays. Haven’t really kept up with DA either. Everything’s so different now. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve changed. Sometimes, I wish I could be a journalist and report the news, since there’s always something out there to report on. Every day there’s a different story. I dunno… maybe I’m burnt out?

Depressed

I need something to do… 

Maybe I’ll go outside and exercise for an hour.

Sigh...

Too Many Decisions: I Can’t Seem To Make Up My Mind!

studyingI’m writing every post now in MS Word, because my computer is slow and crappy. It’s overheating all the time, even if I have no other tabs open. Apple keeps harassing me about El Capitan and wants me to download it, but not over my dead body! I’m not going through any more crashes again. I’ll never touch El Capitan update, not even with a 16 foot pole.

This past week, I think I’ve been suffering from indecisiveness. Don’t know what it is or why I’m suddenly having it now, because it wasn’t this persistent as before. I hope I’m not going through some mid-life crisis, ‘cause that would be bad and besides, I haven’t even reached fifty yet. I do hear a lot about ADD. It’s somewhat a possibility… maybe that could be it, since I used to multitask a lot at work.Crying..

I’m so used to juggling three or five different tasks at once, which is funny, now that I look back on it. I never had any time for myself back then, but now that I do have the time, I can’t figure out what I want to do with my life. I really have no idea. I’m constantly thinking about so much, even in my sleep. There’s multiple tasks swirling in my brain, it’s hard to focus on just one thing.

I should use my time wisely, because I have to wait for Nicoy to get back to me with the revised sketches. My room does need to be cleaned, so I may actually focus on just chores today and getting this place organized. Later on, I’ll try to do some constructive reading. Mostly read some self-help books on how to format a screenplay or just grammar books in general to get my practice. It helps to refresh my memory.

I was even wondering if I should go back to some of my much older screenplays and manuscripts that I have in a binder from high school. Grant it, NR is still quite old…I’ve worked on it since way back when, nearly 15 years almost.

Depressed

I don’t know if I’ll continue editing NR, still debating about it… I do have other ancient manuscripts for Flash Renegade though. I can do some work on that while I’m at it.

...I know, big shock! So maybe NR won’t be on hold permanently after all. Time will only tell. Seriously, it would be nice to get out of the house now and then, but it’s so hot outside. It feels like 110 degrees. It’s ridiculous.

I really don’t want a heat stroke any time soon and then there’s a ton of the bloodsuckers, mosquitoes, just waiting for me. They find my blood type very delicious. Of course, who could forget about the Zika virus too! So nope… I will probably stay inside and work while keeping close to my fan.

Maybe if it rains and the temperature cools down a little, I’ll go outside and visit the park someday.

Time to relax!

Graphic Novel, Steven Universe, & Something About Time Management… Should I Even Set Up A Schedule For Writing?

So, until I get my new pair of glasses I’ve been vegging out for the past two days… doing absolutely nothing.

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Well, that’s not entirely true…

I’ve been tweaking the book covers for the graphic novel, in Photoshop. Also, I have experimented with textures and started using them on the illustrations Nicoy drew for me.

The results have been truly amazing. Seeing 2D drawings pop out with 3D textures and shapes makes it look like we’re doing a professional anime movie. It looks simply stunning. We’re trying so hard to bring out the best of both worlds: hand drawings and digital media.

I love shows that corporate these types of methods. Sometimes, I’ll enhance the color of Nicoy’s drawings: making them brighter or darker. I may add a simple texture in the background, and maybe add some text. It’s the little things that matter. These tiny details make the characters or the images stand out more clearly. I can only do so much though––I can’t draw people and animals, so I leave it to Nicoy who’s gifted in that area.

We both have our strengths and our weaknesses, but we help each other out, which is what a team project should be about. Even though I do pay Nicoy for her services, she’s always been professional and helpful. Our progress is slow, and yet it’s been steady, which is better than no progress at all.

I can’t watch TV anymore. It’s too much of a distraction and I hate all the shows, except for Steven Universe…but it’s starting to push my buttons. I’m hate having to wait so damn long. Why are new episodes only once a week (on Thursdays) and last about 10 minutes or less?! I kind of wish they would make an adult version for us grown-ups, so we could see more gem fusion fights and action sequences.

SU needs to be on like everyday and last about 30-60 minutes. This is the only show with an entire female cast (except for Steven and his father), where I’d actually want the writers/producers to drag it out a bit more…especially when it came down to the Cluster finale. The ending to that one was a bit anti-climatic to tell you the truth. It would’ve been nice to have like an hour special for such a big build-up. It had been a dramatic moment for some time now.

I’d still watch SU if the characters’ (gems’) backstories were longer and more detailed. Is it because kids’ attention spans are so short that one episode is over in the blink of an eye? Grant it, I hate shows with constant and useless filler. I’m looking at you The Walking Dead… and I can’t stand anime shows that are over 500+ episodes long, ’cause who has the time to watch all of that?

But there’s no commercial breaks during one episode of SU, which is great and all, but then the show’s technically over. I’ve seen all the reruns like fifty times and I’m getting sick of it. So what gives Cartoon Network? Anyway, I do think the premiere of SU is about to be finished in another week or so. I’m a little bummed out right now. This season wasn’t that spectacular. 😦 Oh well…

I was supposed to exercise yesterday, but it’s been so hot lately (even with the AC on) I sweat right through my clothes. Even in the nights, it’s humid and feels like I’m in the Amazon jungle.

I'm dead

Last night, I just stayed in my room and listened to music on my headphones all day.

Scratching my butt

I thought about all the characters of the graphic novel, the ones Nicoy drew for me, the ones we didn’t get a chance to focus on, future stories, and whether I should devote my full time (and energy) on making individual novels for them. Then, there’s Legendary Girl, which is a whole other story completely. I really don’t know what my plan will be for the future––I would like to finish NR series first. Then, decide where to go from there.

I really should do something constructive with my life while I wait for these blasted glasses, like reading or looking for a job. I couldn’t finish Siren Suicides…it got to a point where I was daydreaming about why I was reading this when I should be finishing my accursed novel. It’s not that the story wasn’t interesting. I do like the author, because she has very good articles on her site. I don’t blame the author for me zoning out all the time. My mind wasn’t there to be reading a three part series.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to read! I will eventually pick up Siren Suicides and finish it at a later date. But that’s when I’ve got nothing to do and I’m seriously bored out of my mind. If I have to watch paint dry, that’s doing something. For my job searches, I’ve applied to all the places I can think of, but I’ve heard no word from any of the companies so far. It might be too late in the season. I’ll try again in the Fall and see if there’s anyone hiring when it comes near the holidays.

About two days ago, I suddenly had an idea for my website, for marketing the graphic novel. Yes, this again! I won’t say what it is as of yet, but it was quite interesting to test it out on my hidden, private site. I may develop it further as things go along. It would be kind of an interactive thing, almost like a fun creative tool in some way.

However, I’m not sure if it’ll work as I originally planned. The problem lies in how long it takes Nicoy and I to actually publish the graphic novel. So until we are done, completely finished with everything, the site won’t be revealed until it’s published on Amazon and so on. I had thought about releasing the website early. Just to get it out there and see what people’s reaction would be…but the more I thought about it…

The site might be one huge disaster. If the publishing of the comics were delayed all the time, people would then become frustrated and they’ll never want to buy it or see it again. I’ll try it out someday and figure it out slowly. Right now, it’s not ready. I’m not ready for anything to be revealed as of yet. I’m still developing this project as I go along here, everything’s all in my head. I just have to be patient and wait, which still sucks. Trust me, I know. When it’s time to release the project, I’ll be more than prepared for it. 

 I was thinking of setting up a schedule for myself. I know what you’re thinking! Schedules never work unless I’m actually working. I’ve been staying up way too late and going to bed like 5-6 a.m. only to wake up like past mid-noon. I may in fact go back to what I was supposed to be doing… and that’s polishing NR for publishing. I found out that my sister was trying to come visit me last week or two, but had postponed her plans. We’ll see how that goes, since I’ve stopped talking to her… not looking forward to any of her visits in the future.

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Adios, space cowboys!

I Need To Finish These Books and End It Now!

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After much thought, counting chapters, and sleepless nights, I’ve come to my final conclusion.

Report's gone..

I’m going to end it.

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Probably the craziest idea I’ve had and you’re all thinking I’ve lost my mind.

studyingI’m going to edit and finish both the third and the fourth novel at the same time. Well, not exactly the same time. I’ll finish the third novel first and while I’m waiting for my paperback copy to be sent to my house, I’ll be revising the last book as well.

I’m not sure if I’ll publish them this month though. Why the change all of a sudden? Well, to be frank, I’m just getting fed up with the series and it needs to end already. It hasn’t been easy with the rewriting. If you guys don’t hear from me in a couple of weeks, this might be the reason why. If I sit here and think about the finale for another year, I’m going to lose it.

This is better for me in the long run…I think? I hope. Once I actually start on the graphic novel, I may not be able to go back and focus on the last NR novel. I want to spend all my attention and full concentration on this newest project, I really do. But I may not be able to work on two separate projects, especially since they’re so completely different.

I wish I was that multi-talented, but unfortunately I’m not. Since the third novel does end in a huge cliffhanger and I have a feeling some people will be truly upset by this, I might as well get that fourth novel published…just in case. It’ll be challenging rewriting/editing these two books. Nicoy is doing some artwork for me, so I’m excited to see what the final drawings will look like. I’m very happy so far with the work she’s done. 😀

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Anyway, wish me good luck.

I think I’m going to need a lot of energy drinks for this one.

A Mistake I Fixed, But It Still Appeared Anyway…

I went back and looked at my sequel. I know… big mistake!

OMG!

Well, I found a mistake in the sequel, but the funny thing is… I know for a fact that I had corrected it.

It almost feels like a year ago, since it’s been published. I dunno, I haven’t been keeping track of the months these days. It was published last year in May. Whoever reads this and then reads the sequel will probably know which typo I’m talking about here. It’s pretty obvious, because in the same exact sentence it’s used again, but spelled properly. It’s the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me, because I actually remember going back and fixing that silly error.

Not to mention, it’s one of the most common mistakes in writing. Even though I couldn’t find it in my 20 something pages of corrections, I found the correction in the second draft of my book, the paperback copy I got from Createspace. However, for some reason or another this correction never made it to the final. Maybe the file did not save or maybe I had selected the wrong file to upload from the beginning. I have no idea. This mistake is still in there and it’s bugging the hell out of me…

Noooo!

So, I have two options.

1.) I could go back and fix it.

OR

2.) Just walk away and leave it alone.

Sweatdrop...

If I go back and fix it, I’d have to put the entire novel and e-book down, temporarily. I may have to drop the e-book promotion for another week. It would take 12 hours before the e-book is back up and running again, depending on how long it takes me to correct the mistake, convert the file to mobi, etc etc.

The e-book wouldn’t be too bad per say, it’s just that I don’t trust myself to do it at the moment. It’s early morning, I’m not in the best of moods right now, and I didn’t sleep at all last night… I don’t feel like myself to fix this one mistake––I may end up editing the whole novel and making it ten times worse.

To edit the paperback copy would just be a pain in my butt though, because that would take 24-48 hours for Createspace to review it and even then, would I order another copy? Hell no.

Work!

Despite everything I’ve been through, I’m not in a good mind set to go back and fix anything. I’m so very tired. Not only that, I’m supposed to finish Camp Nano and edit/rewrite my third novel. Technically, I’m supposed to be in Editing Hell. I’m caught somewhere between an Editing Loop and Manuscript Fatigue. Going back would surely delay all of that and no progress will ever be made on my third book, until maybe the next 5 years. I should be moving forward, not backwards.

Even if it is a stupid mistake, is it big enough for me to put the entire book down? It’s not a mistake I make very often, maybe once or twice a year. Grant it, I’m not a perfect individual. No writer is perfect, no matter how many times they revise something. Let’s face the truth here. There’s going to be some errors (typos/mistakes) that I may never catch the first or ten millionth time.

But this one I actually corrected and I know I had changed it, but for whatever reason it still didn’t make it. It’s pretty much all my fault for not being careful enough, but no matter how I feel about it…I’m not going to drop everything I’m doing and fix it. Maybe in 10 or 20 years from now, I’ll make a special edition (maybe a gift set) or something and then fix it, including the first novel.

Now, if this was like a huge mistake, let’s say…a whole page or chapter is missing from the book or there’s typos in every sentence, then yes, I’d put the book (s) down and do a complete overhaul.

Anyway, I probably should learn how to deal with it…

I surrender!

I really need to stop going back and trying to fix everything…even after it’s been said and done.

Abandoned Websites Left Unused… What To Do With Them?

Crying..

I have three websites that are just sitting there not being used…

  • I LOVE TO DIRECT (a film site) – has 24 posts
  • THE LEGENDARY GIRL (fantasy site) – has 16 posts
  • FLASH RENEGADE (maybe I’ll open this one for the graphic novel someday…?)

All the world's a stageI don’t know if I should just let them out to run wild and free. Should they even be open to the public? Especially since I have nothing else going on. Next month will be Nano and I’ll be preparing my third volume of Nightmarish Reality. So, it would be a waste of my time to have three sites up and never use them.

I still have no idea if I’ll be able to update them everyday. I prefer my primary site, since it has my name on there: it’s more relevant to my life and book series. It was the first one I started when I was in the process of publishing Nightmarish Reality and I have about 19 pages with 500 posts. Technically, it’s the most popular blog out of all four blogs I have on WordPress, including more popular than Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and DA.

I have no idea what I’m going to do with the remaining 3 sites. I could just delete them all and save my sanity and my energy. Eh…I don’t want to get rid of them as of yet, seeing how much time and effort I put into designing and setting them up. I’d like to have the site for Flash Renegade setup early; however, I know it wouldn’t be wise to post chapters or even images. I feel it’s way too soon for that. Seeing as it’s in the developmental stages, I fear someone would just steal the ideas and the images for themselves, claiming it as their own.

That has happened before. Many times when I used to write fanfiction someone was always ripping off my ideas. Ideas cannot be copyrighted by the way. But it doesn’t mean you’ll be safe from plagiarism either. I’ll leave the sites private for now, until I can figure out what I really want to do with them. If I wasn’t so paranoid I’d probably do it, but I love my characters/stories too much to take that risk, because I know there’s people out there, who are looking for the next big thing, always desperate for ideas.

Maybe when I’m near publishing day, I’ll release some of the scenes and chapters as a teaser. Who knows?

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